


Bleed for Me

by Sincestiel



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Character Bleed, Explicit Language, First Time, Frottage, M/M, no actual blood mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 03:03:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1924308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincestiel/pseuds/Sincestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anyone who doesn't understand, who hasn't had to slip into someone else's skin every day for years on end might think Jared crazy.  Because of course he'd see Dean in Jensen and vice versa; they're the same person after all.  But they're not.  Not really.  Jared is nothing like Sam.  And Jensen is nothing like Dean.  Except for when he is.  And it's a bit unsettling at times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bleed for Me

**Author's Note:**

> I started this literally one year ago today. It didn't take me that long to write it; I just forgot about it. But I pulled it up a couple of days ago, kind of liked the beginning, and started on it again. So here it is, a very short fic that's been a year in the making.
> 
> Forget spouses (or girlfriends as they would have been at the time). Also the whole gay freak out thing? Completely ignored in favor of, well, just not writing it. There's enough going on as it is I think. Let's just pretend they live in an AU where being gay just isn't a big deal (if only we could all live there for real).
> 
> Also, no real blood even mentioned, despite the title. And this is not beta'd. Any and all mistakes are my own and I apologize deeply for them (because I'm sure they're abundant and glaring).

Jensen does this thing where he licks his lips – a barely there flick of his tongue curling over his bottom lip before it disappears back into his mouth – just before he smiles. And it's just such a _Dean_ thing to do that Jared is often transfixed by it. Of course the smile that follows is all Jensen, bright and open in a way that Dean usually isn't, his eyes crinkling and his teeth showing far longer than Dean would allow. And it's the sudden shift that always makes Jared's breath catch a bit. Like Dean's always there, shimmering just under the surface of Jensen and sometimes there's a ripple, a little opening for him to burst free for a moment before he's dragged down and trapped again.

There are other things too, little bits of Dean that he sees in his costar randomly. A dark chuckle here, a sultry wink there. Small things that other people, people who don't know Jensen as well as Jared does, might not catch. 

Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe people who don't know Dean so well wouldn't catch them because Jared hasn't yet decided if those are things Jensen brings out of playing Dean or if they're habits of his own that he's worked into his character. Because sometimes he sees Jensen in Dean. An oddly quirked eyebrow in the middle of a scene like he often shoots Jared's way when he's just handed Jared's ass to him in one video game or another. Or the way Dean runs his fingers through his hair, like he's not quite used to it being short even though Dean has always had shorter hair and it's Jensen who used to sport hair almost the length of Jared's.

And anyone who doesn't understand, who hasn't had to slip into someone else's skin every day for years on end might think Jared crazy. Because _of course_ he'd see Dean in Jensen and vice versa; they're the same person after all. But they're not. Not really. Jared is nothing like Sam. And Jensen is nothing like Dean. Except for when he is. And it's a bit unsettling at times.

Because, the thing is, Dean is hot. Like, really, really hot. And Jensen's just… well, _Jensen_. Dean swaggers and whips out one-liners like it's nothing. He's cocky and a bit arrogant. He's brash and assertive. And Jensen is quiet. A bit shy. Reserved and often times seemingly aloof. They’re polar opposites, usually.

Which is why Jared is having a difficult time coming to terms with the sudden bursts of attraction he's been feeling recently for Jensen. He long ago forced himself to deal with the bit of lust Dean induces in him. Because Dean's a fictional character. Dean incites lust in everyone. And Dean isn't his best friend. Jared doesn't live with Dean. Doesn't have to see him every single day (only most days). Jared doesn't have to (or get to) see Dean first thing in the morning when his hair is sleep rumpled and his face is soft and open. He doesn't have to watch Dean strut (and okay, so Jensen doesn't really strut, but he might as well because it would be no less devastating to Jared's wandering mind) around fresh out of the shower, little beads of water still clinging desperately to his shoulders as if they can't stand the thought of leaving his warm skin.

But this? This overwhelming need he's beginning to feel for Jensen? It's a whole other ballgame because Jensen is very real and very much a part of Jared's every waking moment. It's pure torture is what it is.

“Dude,” Jensen says, waving a hand in front of Jared’s face, as if he needs to get Jared’s attention at all. Like Jared isn’t always focused on him. But, of course, Jensen doesn’t really know that.

“Sorry, what?” And okay. So Jared was staring and not listening. That’s okay. Perfectly fine, even. Understandable, considering.

“I asked if you wanted to order pizza for dinner,” Jensen says, apparently for the second time, as he opens the fridge door – _their_ fridge because they’d actually bought it together shortly after Jensen moved in and the other one went out – and pulls out two beers. 

When he turns, the light catches the little object hanging just below his collarbones. And that. That little swinging charm. That’s Dean. And somehow, seeing it here, where _Jensen_ lives, where Dean is _not_ supposed to be, is mesmerizing.

“Seriously, Jay. You gotta answer me, man. I’m starving.”

There’s a slight hiss as Jensen opens the first bottle, but it’s just background noise. Almost inaudible over the roaring in Jared’s ears because this is too much.

And when Jensen turns again, pendant sliding across his shirt, hand extending to pass Jared a beer, he’s all Dean Winchester. Jensen completely melts away and leaves behind the parts of him that make Dean shine. Those tiny pieces of Jensen that shape Dean into a real person. In this moment, Dean is tangible to Jared in a way he’s never been before. And it’s exhilarating.

“Pizza’s fine. Veggie for me,” Jared says, maybe slipping a little of Sam out to play. Just to see what will happen. Just to see if Jensen – _Dean_ – will play along.

“Veggie? You always get…” Jensen’s words trail off as he follows Jared’s gaze, cranes his neck oddly to see what’s caught Jared’s attention. And when Jensen looks back up, there’s a strange glint in his eye. Something that rides the border between Dean and Jensen. It’s kind of hot.

“You going method on me, Jay?”

Jared shrugs, his eyes flicking back and forth between Jensen’s face and that damned necklace taunting him from its perch on Jensen’s ( _Dean’s_ ) chest. He has no idea what he’s giving away with his facial expression right now, but Jensen eyes him for a beat or two before he nods and brushes past Jared to pick up the phone.

“Two meat lover’s,” Jared hears Jensen tell the person on the other end of the phone and he sighs. He doesn’t know what Jensen read in his face, but whatever it was, he’s ignoring it. Great. Really. It’s probably better this way. No sense in screwing up their friendship over a stupid little crush Jared has on Jensen’s alter ego. A fucking fictional character. So yeah. This is good.

*~*~*

Except… well. Jensen’s refusal to acknowledge the problem and Jared’s determination to forget it doesn’t make it go away.

There’s Jensen, standing in full Dean garb, in the middle of Jared’s trailer. And Jared feels like he’s going to do something very stupid very soon if Jensen doesn’t hurry the fuck up. But he doesn’t think he’s got a handle on the scene. And he came to Jared for help. So Jared is biting the bullet and hoping the sheer torture of the moment ends soon.

“I just… this doesn’t feel very Dean to me.”

And it’s kind of not. Or not the Dean who’s on display most often. The scene’s a little heart-tuggy. Dean gets a little teary eyed and bares a bit of his soul and Jensen just isn’t feeling it. So this is where Jared comes in. 

Almost no one knows Dean better than Jensen. Hell, Jensen molded this character into who he is today. Jensen knows things about Dean that even the writers don’t. He knows Dean’s favorite color. His favorite song. Favorite movie. His first kiss. Everything. And several times, he’s asked for small rewrites to change those minor things when the script was wrong. It’s dedication the likes of which Jared’s never seen. But it’s refreshing. Because Jensen cares, really fucking _cares_ , that Dean is just right.

And while Jensen knows all of those little tidbits of information, those little things that round Dean off and shape him into the Dean Winchester so many people know and love, Jared knows Dean on a more emotional level. Jared knows what makes Dean tick.

“But it is, man. That’s totally Dean. Because, what you’re not taking into consideration is, it’s _Sam_. Dean gets mushy for Sam. Maybe not a lot, but when he feels like it’s necessary, he puts it all out there.”

Jensen purses his lips, reads over the lines a time or two, and then shakes his head.

“It doesn’t _work_ , Jay. It sounds almost like…”

Jared watches Jensen squint and bite his lip and then rake a hand through his hair. And there it is. One of those little twitches Dean and Jensen share. It makes Jared’s breathing go a little shallow and he scoots back on the small sofa he’s been sitting on, pulling a pillow into his lap. Just in case. He really shouldn’t bother. Jensen isn’t even paying attention, pacing like he is with his eyes glued to the script in his hand.

“It’s like he’s…”

Jared rolls his eyes. Really. All this time and Jensen’s just figuring it out? Jared’s kind of questioning how well Jensen knows Dean after all.

“In love with his brother. Yeah. You just getting that memo?”

Jared sees Jensen’s blush and then watches as he lowers the pages in his hand and stops directly in front of a wall. Which next becomes a resting place for his forehead.

A sigh precedes his response, “I thought that was all in my head.”

“Dude. You know all the fans see it too. How could you think you were imagining it?”

“I just thought… I don’t know, man. You know how they are. They don’t care that Dean and Sam are brothers. But I thought Dean did.”

Jared knows he has to handle this with care. But how to explain it?

“He does care, Jen. That’s why he’s so careful. That’s why it takes so much for him to open up to Sam. He’s terrified Sam will find out. And, as much as he loves his brother in ways he really shouldn’t, he honestly never wants anything to come of it. Because he thinks it’ll hurt Sam. And Dean will suffer any pain to save Sam.”

“And,” Jensen starts, voice rough and honestly broken as if Dean’s coming out now, scared and nervous over how Sam will react. He clears his throat and starts again, still with his head against the wall, “What about Sam? Does he know? Does he… um… does he feel the same way?”

Now Jared laughs, low and okay, yeah, a little dirty. But this is something he knows without a doubt, “Oh yeah. Both. He’s felt the same way as long as he can remember. He only recently found out about Dean though. But there’s only so many times a guy can put his ass on the line for you before you realize he’s in love with you. Brother or not.”

Jensen turns then, putting his back to the wall instead, and he meets Jared’s eyes. Searching. Searching. Looking for something. Jared isn’t sure what and he doesn’t know if Jensen finds it because in the next second he’s no longer Jensen.

Dean looks directly into his soul, puts Jared in a Sam mindset with only the tilt of his head and an indefinable gaze. His voice grates against his throat when he pours out his lines, pure gravel and pain. The perfect combination of longing and desperation and _fear_.

And the script’s wrong. On so many levels. Because here, after this, Sam is supposed to say something… Something that isn’t, _love you, want you, need you._ But that’s what Jared’s inner Sam is demanding. He can’t let his brother flay himself open like this and not do something drastic. He can’t let Dean get this raw without …

Jared’s half off the sofa before he catches himself, reins in Sam and forces him down. And then checks his own, very _Jared_ thoughts about just how fucking hot Dean is all vulnerable and needy. He makes himself sit again, clamps his mouth shut for a second to keep anything unfortunate from coming out, and then nods decisively.

“You’re right. I mean, not that it’s not Dean enough. Because it is. But that’s gotta go. Because Sam’s response isn’t Sam enough. And I don’t think any of us really want the response Sam wants to give.”

Like flipping a switch, Dean blinks out and Jensen’s back. It happens so fast it almost makes Jared’s head spin. But that’s nothing new. Jared’s been on this insane, dizzying ride for months now. So he’s pretty much used to the way Jensen and Dean can turn his world on its head and send him spiraling wildly out of control with nothing but a look.

“See? Told you it wasn’t right.”

Cocky bastard.

“Yeah, but you said it didn’t work for Dean.”

“Whatever. It’s not my fault Sam’s so hot for his brother he can’t control himself.”

Flippant. Easy. Not like Jensen before Dean at all. During their first season Jensen was a lot more reserved than that. Before Dean started to shift. Before Jensen and Dean blended just enough to keep Jared’s mind constantly blurred between the two.

“Well, hey, when you’ve got a brother _that_ hot, who can blame you?”

It’s Jensen who flushes red because Dean would just agree and put a little extra swagger in his step when he walked away. But the smirk that crosses his face is at least a little bit Dean. It’s driving Jared batshit crazy, not really knowing exactly where Dean ends and Jensen begins. Not being totally sure of which mannerisms really belong to which persona.

And fuck. This is worse than the necklace incident from last night. Jared feels like he’s handing little pieces of his secret to Jensen and Jensen is slowly putting it together like a puzzle. Every time Jared gives him a little bit, the picture becomes much clearer. Pretty soon Jensen will have it all. And then what?

“Yeah? _Sam_ thinks Dean’s hot, huh?” Jensen is fucking twinkling, goddamn him. And Dean’s preening. Or something. Some combination of JensenDean that just works so well. But really, that’s the crux of it, isn’t it? It _all_ works well. Too well.

“Everyone thinks Dean’s hot, Jen. That’s not really breaking news.”

“Everyone?”

Jensen’s looking at him like he knows exactly what Jared isn’t saying. _Yeah, I think Dean’s hot. And maybe I’m not totally disgusted by his real world counterpart. Like, at all._

But that’s the end of the conversation because, thankfully, there’s a knock at the door and they’re called to set. Jensen knows when to leave reality behind and pull Dean out full force. Jared just hopes he doesn’t pick it back up when filming’s over for the day.

*~*~*

No such luck.

“Sam’s pretty hot too, ya know,” Jensen says the moment they walk into the house, making Jared fumble when he tries to hang up his jacket.

“What?” Really he’s just buying time because how is he even supposed to respond to that?

“Well, he’s got the hair. And those abs.”

Jared ignores the abs comment because if he doesn’t he might offer to let Jensen touch them. And while he’s starting to hope they might be heading in that direction, his head’s a little screwy on the Jensen and Dean thing and exactly how he feels about each of them. So he’s not sure he’s ready for that just yet. Well, he might be ready for that, but he’s not ready for the rejection he might have to deal with if he’s reading the situation entirely wrong.

“Dean thinks the hair’s stupid.” There. That’s safe enough.

“That’s just because he can’t touch it the way he wants,” Jensen says, shrugging, as he easily hangs his jacket up and walks past Jared – who still hasn’t managed to get his fingers and hands to work together. Finally, out of frustration, he just drops it on the floor and follows Jensen into the kitchen, where they’re both greeted by two very happy dogs.

Jensen busies himself with eagerly ruffling Sadie’s hair – who seems to have forgotten over the past few weeks that Jared is her favorite person in the world – while Jared just kind of pats the top of Harley’s head and gapes slightly.

“I thought you just realized Dean was in love with Sam?”

“Hey, I’m a little slow to catch on sometimes, but I’m not an idiot. He’s pulling pigtails. It all makes sense now.”

So easy. Like the floor didn’t fall out from under him earlier when Jared told him. And Jared knows it did. He could see the cogs in Jensen’s head turning, trying desperately to reconcile the new information with the character he’s so painstakingly built over the last few years. But he’s taking it in stride now. Like it’s nothing really.

“So you’re not still disgusted by the incest aspect of it?”

Shaking his head, Jensen goes for the dogs’ leashes and works on getting them both attached.

“Nah. It’s kind of obvious now that I think about it. And, like I said, it makes sense. Sam is Dean’s everything in a way nobody else ever could be. They’ve spent most of their lives tucked safely in each other’s pockets and most of the time they only had each other. So things got a little warped for them. And I think that’s okay. The epic love story of Sam and Dean, right? You gonna take ‘em out? Or you want me to?”

Jared snaps his mouth shut, because it’s still just kind of hanging open, as Jensen looks up questioningly from where he’s kneeling next to Sadie and holding both their leashes. But his brain doesn’t switch gears as fast as Jensen’s apparently does, so Jensen stands and lets the dogs drag him toward the door.

“I got it. You just figure out dinner. I’m starving.”

*~*~*

They’ve just finished their pizza – yeah, second night in a row, but there’s no one around to fuss at them and what their mamas don’t know won’t hurt them – when Jared broaches the topic of choice for the day again.

“So how are you going to handle Dean now that you know?”

He feels like he’s beating a dead horse but it’s Dean and nothing interests Jared like Dean does. And maybe that’s a little bit of character bleed of his own because Sam feels the same way. What if this whole thing is just one big clusterfuck of character bleed? Jensen losing a bit of the divide between himself and Dean – because that’s natural, really – and Jared letting Sam’s feelings for Dean cloud his real life too?

But then Jensen looks at him, not even a trace of Dean evident, and Jared’s (not even remotely because of Sam) heart does that weird flip-flop thing that makes him skip a breath without realizing it until he has to breath twice as fast for a second to get oxygen back to his brain. Yeah. Not character bleed then. Or not fully anyway, though Jared still thinks that has a little something to do with it.

“Same as always. He’s still Dean. And apparently I’ve been doing the whole tortured, in love with his brother thing without knowing it. So on it goes.”

Jared nods and turns back toward the T.V., trying to catch the plotline of whatever it is they’re watching. Or trying to look like he is anyway. Really he’s cataloguing every breath Jensen takes, every shift he feels in the couch as Jensen puts his plate on the table and pulls his feet up, getting comfortable.

“What about you and Sam? Did your take on Sam change when you realized it?”

That makes Jared grin because he was still figuring Sam out when he came to terms with the decidedly unbrotherly relationship the characters have. Or want to have at any rate.

“Not really. It kind of helped me get him right in the first place. I mean, they guy walks away from his whole family – the only two people in the world who really know him – just because he wants to go to college? No way. There had to be something more to it. And it just came to me around the fourth or fifth episode. Of course he was in love with Dean. That’s why he left to begin with.”

Jensen barks out a disbelieving laugh and Jared turns to look at him again. He’s still just Jensen, but Jared’s not fooled. Dean could peek out at any moment.

“Sam left because his dad didn’t understand him, kept trying to force him to be something he wasn’t.”

“Sure. That’s part of it. But that doesn’t explain why he cut ties with his brother. The guy who raised him. The only person who was ever there for him. The one person whose approval and respect he wants more than anything in the world. The only person he never wants to disappoint. Sam could have easily left John without losing Dean completely. But he didn’t. He was running. And he was definitely running from more than some stupid parental control issue. Whatever made him leave, it was something huge. A game changer.”

Jensen thinks about it for a second, studies Jared’s face like he might find all the answers to his questions there. But obviously he doesn’t because he sighs and swipes a hand over his eyes. Suddenly, Jensen looks very tired.

“So Sam’s been in love with Dean forever. But the real question is: How long have _you_ had a thing for him?”

Jared might pull a Sam and run if he wasn’t fucking glued to the couch because holy shit. He knew Jensen was getting something from him, but he didn’t realize he was so transparent. And he knows he’s got a deer in the headlights look on his face because Jensen doesn’t wait for him to answer. Probably, knowing Jared as well as he does, because he doesn’t expect one.

“Hey, it’s okay, dude. Like you said, everyone thinks Dean’s hot. Right? No big deal.”

Jensen shrugs but Dean’s there too. Because no one can play off something like that quite like Dean does. And that really hurts. The fact that Jensen is so bothered by it that he needs Dean to deal with it. But then again, Jared invited Jensen to live with him. He’s been living here this whole time and he probably thinks the only reason Jared asked was because of Dean and his stupid infatuation.

“That’s not… I mean, you know that’s not why I asked you to move in, right? This thing… it’s weird and stupid and I’m sorry if it bothers you.”

And yeah. Probably not the best idea to go ahead and out himself completely. Because if Jensen is this freaked out – and he is, even if he says it’s nothing – about Jared having a thing for Dean, Jared can only imagine how he’d react to the fact that Jared’s got a thing for him as well. That would not go over well, Jared’s sure of it.

“No, really. It’s fine. But I’m beat, so I think I’ll hit the hay.”

The way he cuts the conversation short, without even really letting Jared apologize properly is upsetting. But Jensen’s already up and halfway across the room before Jared can think of anything to say. But, honestly, he’s a little relieved when he hears Jensen’s bedroom door click shut because _I’m sorry_ still doesn’t feel like enough and that’s all his brain has supplied.

He feels like the worst kind of fool. Falling for his best friend, and not just his best friend but his costar who he has to work with every single day. Who now thinks Jared’s a freak because he doesn’t know Jared’s fallen for him. He thinks Jared just wants in Dean’s pants. And again. Fictional character. So he gets why Jensen might think he’s out of his gourd.

He doesn’t even have the energy left to get up and climb the stairs. So he cuts off the T.V. and just stretches out on the couch. He’ll sleep in his clothes, as uncomfortable as that is. Serves him right. God, he’s such a fucking dick.

*~*~*

Jared’s not sure what time it is, but he knows it’s not morning because it’s still mostly dark in the living room. He also doesn’t know why he’s awake. The dogs usually settle down at night, and he doesn’t hear them moving around, so that can’t be it. And sure, his back is a little sore from sleeping on the too small couch, but that’s not really enough to wake him either.

It’s not until a few seconds later when he hears the toilet flush that he knows it had to be Jensen getting up. He’s not used to being able to hear Jensen’s door open and close. He should probably get up and go to bed. And he’ll do that. Just as soon as Jensen’s hidden away in his room because there are still words Jared should say and he has no idea what they are.

But it seems Jensen has other plans because suddenly the small light from over the sink in the kitchen is blocked by Jensen’s silhouette. Wait… not Jensen. _Dean_. He doesn’t know how he can tell the difference since he can’t even see the man’s face and read the nuances there, but it’s something in his stance. Something that screams Winchester. And Jared’s heart tries valiantly to free itself from his chest.

“Jen-“ Jared starts rising up slightly and attempting to pull Jensen out and stop whatever craziness this is. Because, while Jensen sometimes carries Dean’s mannerisms over into his real life, Jared knows he’s not insane. He’s still Jensen under there. Jensen wearing his Dean suit, but still, Jensen.

“Not Jensen,” is all he says and just like that, Jared gets it. His sleep confusion wears off and his heart does another leap. Jesus Christ. Is Jensen really going to do this? And how far is he willing to carry it?

Pretty damned far it would seem, because in the next instant, he’s straddling Jared’s thighs, hands pushing against Jared’s shoulders to put him back in his place on the couch and then slipping under his shirt. And Jared can’t _think_ like this. He knows he’s got to put the brakes on, but Jensen – Dean – is pressing his lips into Jared’s jawline and fuck. His hands are warm, kneading Jared’s sides almost possessively.

Jared’s head falls back, exposing his neck to Dean’s questing mouth, and he hears himself groan.

“Shit, Jensen, can we just-“

“ _Not_ Jensen,” is growled into Jared’s skin and fuck if he doesn’t shiver almost violently.

He doesn’t even know what the fuck this is. Is this Jensen giving Jared what he wants? Does he think doing this is going to fix everything? He’s going to, what? Fuck Jared’s crush out of him? That’s not going to work.

Jensen shifts and Jared feels it. His cock. Hard and heavy already, pressing into Jared’s upper thigh urgently. And it hits him. Jensen _wants_ this. He has to want it. If he were just doing this for Jared he’d not be that into it from just a few practically chaste kisses.

And if Jensen wants this, then Jared doesn’t want it to be Dean over him. Not the first time, anyway. There’s time for playing later. This should be real. All real. And just the two of them.

That knowledge, knowing that it’s highly possible Jensen wants him too, finally gives him the push he needs to slow this down. 

Jensen’s teeth are working just under his ear when Jared fists his hands in the back of Jensen’s cotton t-shirt and lifts, effectively separating Jensen’s mouth from his skin. And the way he whines when he loses his grip… well, that’s Dean. Dean being denied pleasure. But while it’s sexy as hell, Dean needs to retreat. Jensen’s got to put him away.

“Listen… Jen… you gotta quit, man. I’m not… don’t think I’m saying no because I’m sure as fuck not. But if we’re doing this – and I wanna do this – it’s gotta be you. Not him. Just you.”

Jensen freezes, mouth still inches from Jared’s neck, his hands still holding Jared’s sides. And he stays like that so long that Jared starts to get nervous.

“I mean, unless you don’t want that? You’re not sleep walking are you? Please tell me you’ve been awake this whole time.”

“I’m awake,” Jensen whispers. All Jensen now. Good.

“Awesome. Then could we maybe start over? Don’t get me wrong, this is hot. So fucking hot. And I want this at some point. Just not right now, okay?”

“You want…? I thought it was just Dean. I thought you wanted him.”

Jensen sounds very small right now and utterly confused. It’s adorable and a little heartbreaking at the same time. And Jared knows, at least to an extent, how they got so far off track. And it’s mostly his fault for not being clearer. Not only with Jensen, but with himself.

“Oh, I do. Dean’s fucking hot. Sex on legs and I definitely want that. I’m all for roleplay. And I’ll even be Sam for you, Jensen. But it’s not just him. Not by a long shot.”

Jensen relaxes then and Jared, fairly certain Dean isn’t going to attack him again, lets Jensen slip into his chest, face buried in his neck. His voice is a little muffled when he speaks, but Jared hears him just fine.

“Thank god. I thought I was going to have to settle for fulfilling your fantasy. I thought you just wanted _him_. The way you were looking at that necklace last night and the shift to Sam.”

Jared laughs a bit, but only a bit because it’s not really that funny. Or not the part where Jensen’s been wanting him and not knowing Jared felt the same way. But the part where Jared’s been so fucking stupid? Yeah. That’s a little humorous.

“And that was it? You decided I wanted to fuck Dean just because-“

“Dude, you’ve been weird for months now. At first I thought it was me, but then the Dean fascination… I don’t know. I guess I was right the first time.”

Jared wraps his arms around Jensen’s back just to make sure he doesn’t run because, “No, at first it was Dean. But then you’re just… you. And a lot like Dean. Or Dean’s a lot like you. I’m still not really sure about all that. Doesn’t matter I guess. Dean’s not real. You are.”

Jensen goes still again. “And if Dean were real?”

“Oh, I’d want to fuck him. For sure. But I don’t think I’d want much more than that. Dean’s not the type to stick around. And I want someone who does.”

“Like me.”

“Like you. Plus Dean’s cockier than you, he’d never blush like you do. And that’s probably ten times hotter than anything Dean’s got going for him.”

Jensen chuckles and rubs his face into Jared’s shoulder. There’s a dark edge to it though.

“See? That right there was Dean.”

Jared hisses when Jensen nibbles at his neck. It’s just this side of painful and pretty much perfect.

“No. That’s all me. I think you’re confusing some things, Jay. Or maybe you just don’t know me as well as you think.”

Jensen’s tongue flicks out to soothe over the bite and Jared’s hips flex upward. He thinks he really likes this side of Jensen. Particularly because it _is_ Jensen and not Dean. And Jensen has a side he’s never seen. It’s nice.

But he still wants…

“Okay, fine. It’s all you. But sometime you’ll let me have Dean?”

“Only if you let me have Sam. Wasn’t kidding earlier. Sam’s fucking gorgeous. Those puppy dog eyes… who could resist?”

Jensen’s wiggling now, working himself around to fit in the space Jared makes for him between his thighs. And then they’re pressed together from chest to groin and heat races up Jared’s spine when Jensen grinds down.

“Yeah. Okay. Sam’s all yours. Later. Right now you just need to keep… oh fuck yes… doing that.”

“Not stopping, Jay,” Jensen groans. And then he lifts his head, slots his mouth against Jared’s, and it’s Jared’s turn to groan. Or maybe whimper. Jensen’s tongue teases him, slides along his lips until Jared chases it down. Then he gets tiny flicks before Jensen pulls his bottom lip into his mouth and sucks. And all the while his hips are moving, up and down, dirty little circles that have Jared trying to keep up.

“Shit,” Jared gasps, his hands trailing down Jensen’s back to cup his ass, hold him in place.

“Oh, fuck. Yeah,” is all Jensen says when Jared grips him and takes over, pushing up hard and fast and forcing Jensen to meet him. 

And jesus, Jared can feel Jensen’s cock. The steely outline of it rubbing through two layers of clothes and he wishes he could feel it without any barriers. Feel Jensen throb and pulse. Just thinking about it starts a sweet ache in Jared’s balls, makes them begin to draw up as much as they can in his jeans.

He’s going to come. And he didn’t even get Jensen out of his fucking shirt.

“Your shirt, baby. At least your shirt,” Jared hears himself whine, almost embarrassed because of the random pet name and how desperate he sounds. But Jensen doesn’t seem to mind.

“Can’t. Just… let’s just… god.” The last word punches out of him, a hot rush of air over the side of Jared’s face, and then he’s shuddering, hips hitching against Jared’s hold.

And that’s it. Jensen’s coming. Pressed tight to Jared’s body, he’s coming. Jared loses it. Falls right over the edge, white hot and more intense than he’s had in a good, long while.

~*~*~

“That was… wow.” Jensen breathes, voice cracking and fucked out, interrupting the post coital silence a few minutes later.

“Yeah.”

Jared is feeling a little crushed with Jensen still stretched out all boneless on top of him, but he wouldn’t dare complain. Not when he feels like he’s waited forever to be just where he is. But luckily for him, Jensen starts to extricate himself from Jared’s arms.

“But next time, we need a bed. More room. More comfortable.”

Jared definitely agrees. “And more nakedness.”

Jensen hums his agreement and, once he gets to his feet, holds out a hand to Jared.

“My room or yours? Or is that too presumptuous?” 

“Mine and no. In fact, you should probably just move all your stuff into my room. ‘M not letting you sleep anywhere else. Might not let you sleep at all tonight.” Jared answers, already leading the way to his room.

He’s almost to the stairs when his arm is grabbed and he’s being shoved back against the wall. And then Jensen’s right there, mouth hovering just out of reach. His eyes are flashing and it’s one of those confusing moments again. Jared isn’t sure who’s looking out of those green eyes.

But then Jensen kisses him, deep and thorough and so tenderly. Jensen then. Dean could only ever kiss one person like this and right now, Jared’s completely himself.

“One more thing, Jay,” Jensen murmurs into his mouth, “Don’t call me baby.”

Jared finds himself grinning mischievously, but he readily agrees.

“Sure thing.”

Jensen, seemingly satisfied, turns toward the stairs. And Jared follows.

“Sweetheart?”

“Don’t you even dare.”

And the scowl Jensen shoots back over his shoulder is three parts Jensen, one part Dean, and all together ends up being incredibly cute. But Jared doesn’t say it. He wouldn’t dare.

**Author's Note:**

> And, if anyone wants to write the Sam/Dean roleplay scene, please, please be my guest. I'd love to read it but I think it'd be too confusing to write. Just let me know if you decide to take it on... or know of any good ones ;)


End file.
